So when you are feeling overwhelmed and bogged down what is a girl to do? Why go back to school and add more responsibilities of course!
Actually there are many things which led to my decision to go back to studying. The first thing of course was the children. They were losing the little they had gained in Nigeria. I also felt overwhelmed with the day to day grind and no break (ever) from the children. And when I had a break I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then a group I’m on had constant conversation about Arabic centres or places of study. And one thing led to another and I decided to try to find an Islamic centre for the kids. There are very few by the way and no matter how difficult things get I cannot send my kids to school. They learn so much better at home and I am very against the stressful system of studying (while being forced to socialize with often inappropriate people and incorrect methods) especially that which is prevalent here in the Middle East. So no. I also feel the kids are too young for a full time Quran school (of which there are few suitable anyway) and as we live in the Boonies of Cairo basically, it is also highly problematic to find suitable teachers to come and tutor in the home. I am not that comfortable teaching Quran and Arabic (although I could and have but feel they would benefit from other teachers and role models)… so I was left with one possibility that seemed suitable. The old (really really difficult but religious) centre I had attended now offers a hadonna at a really small price. My first priority is them and when I thought about it I realized how disappointed I feel when I consider all the language and memorization I have lost since having my little family. The centre also offers a baby room mashaa Allah. In fact I am now wondering why other centres don’t offer such things for students subhanAllah! What a superb idea to offer an Islamic environment or madrassah for children so that basically all the kiddies can study when mom studies! Orrrr if mom just wants a break she can take her kids to a religious environment for a few hours…. why not!? They offer part time or full time and I HOPE and pray it works out for them because it is only a few hours a day but seems like a GREAT opportunity.
At first I was like…. how in the world am I going to study ? But subhanAllah I just couldn’t send them on their own, I felt so excited about the idea of us all going together even though I had no idea how I personally would manage… did I mention HOW DIIFFICULT the centre is?? But I prayed about it and went for the entrance exam. I was quite disappointed that 75 per cent actually put me back in the beginning class as I had issues with pronouns, numbers and sentence structure LOL! But after some thought I thought alhumdullah I can really ease into it this way and perfect what I have already learned so inshaa Allah I won’t forget anymore. So here we are.
That is the other thing I am trying to change to make my life a little less complicated. Accepting less than perfect especially in myself. If I study I may not be able to keep things so organized and that’s okay! I may also fail my classes and that’s fine too. The goal is not to achieve high grades but simply to understand and grow! If it takes repeating the classes than so be it!
So.. inshaa Allah I am ready and hope this new perspective will take us to new heights. All of us inshaa Allah. My eldest is even excited to learn the local dialect so I really hope we find something that is suitable for him as well.