We went previously to a local psychiatric health resort and met an Egyptian doctor, apparently that held a PhD. If you know me, you know I don’t hold a lot of Egyptian education in high esteem anyway, but with good experience, I hoped that she would be helpful. We sat with her for maybe 40 minutes while my son circled the room touching everything and asking many questions. She seemed knowledgeable. I felt mostly comfortable. She told us we would get an assessment and to make an appointment. We did. Later that day, some things she said sat with me. I obsessed over her words. I obsessed over the assessment that should come and all the ways in which they would get it wrong. Firstly, she said she thought he probably didn’t have aspergers because he was “too social.” I know autistic individuals have issues relating socially and this was my concern as well, that he was “too social”, so initially I felt if she had a similar opinion to me, then why did I feel so bothered ? Second, the assessment would take 2 hours, in one day. I kept thinking over and over how could they properly determine if my son has aspergers while having a one time assessment with an adult ? I felt in all likely they might do exactly what she hinted at… diagnose him with ADHD which, according to her was easily treatable (probably by drugging him because as far as I know its not a simple task). At any rate she mentioned as well that it wasn’t a big deal and many kids have it these days. All these things swirled in my mind and ate at me for days. Then the hospital called to cancel the assessment and said they would reschedule, which they apparently forgot. Which was fine, because I decided to go with a more well known centre, albeit a lot more expensive.
In this next meeting, I felt that I was asked many appropriate questions and that their system was more logical. They may assess him over numerous visits if required as well as let him play with other children to observe him. They didn’t meet my son at the time, and I felt that was smart, to talk about the child while he wasn’t present. I have to wait a few weeks for the assessment but since deciding to go here I have felt a lot more relaxed, that I chose the best option for him and that we may get some answers and a path toward some help for him, and our family.
It couldn’t have come at a better time. I no longer have any doubts we need this. His general demeanor these days is angry, irritable and lashing out. Our family is under great stress, and I can only imagine how all this affects him long term. I’ve lost hope in my own abilities to cope or help him. I want to be his mom for one day, not a therapist. I want to enjoy my child for one day and not be called names or screamed at. I can’t remember the last time we enjoyed anything without multiple meltdowns over nothing. I know it isn’t normal to react this way all the time. And I am not sure how to help anymore. I’m at a loss, and feel we were guided to this place. I only pray that it opens doors for him, and for our family to thrive once again .. to feel there is support, guidance and healing inshaa Allah. To feel he is whole, that we are all whole, and that things start to make sense once again. I know that is a lot to expect. But for the first time in years, I have hope that we might gets answers and that he might find some direction. Allah only know the best… we rely on Him always.
Till next time..